The 15 Year Old

One of my good friends who is also LGBT, Christian, and Affirming (believes that God blesses same gender marriage) gave me the perfect analogy regarding Second Adolescence.

Imagine a 15-year-old.

Puberty is burgeoning.

Their sexuality is awakening.

Take that same 15-year-old and give them a steady income – say 30K a year.

Their own car.

Their own home.

Complete Autonomy.

No parental supervision or adult guidance or wisdom regarding how to navigate what’s going on inside or how to relate to the opposite sex.

Now let that same 15-year-old date someone presumably who has the same resources, autonomy, and agency.

How would that 15 year old live?

Would they restrain themselves or explore?

What’s most realistic?

This scenario is what happens to a lot of LGBT people who come out later in life. After years of sexual suppression (either through ignoring, denying, therapy, depression, suicide attempts,trying to live celibate or a myriad of other reasons ) they come to terms with who they are and accept their full humanity and personhood.

Then, they try and navigate the world of dating and relating to someone who they have the full emotional and bodily capacity to be intimate with – even sexually.

The stuff that heterosexuals learn early on in their teenage years (how to relate to someone they express emotional, relational and even sexual interest with, and even the wisdom, guidance and supervision of adult loved ones on how to do these things) a lot of LGBT individuals discover in adulthood.

Some end up embracing promiscuity full on.

Even though this might not be the advisable or most healthy route, it’s a reality that happens more often than not.

It’s a complex reality and can be hard.

I know it is for me.

But yeah, just some thoughts to throw out there about a reality that many face and a great many more don’t know or consider.

PS- Add to this LGBT people of faith who are told by the majority of the Church “Big C” that they don’t have the God-given right or capacity to love the way they are wired to and are refused support, guidance and even marriage counseling (I know gay married couples who’s churches wouldn’t give them marriage counseling! )

PS2- On a completely unrelated note (just venting) it gets me how a heterosexual persons emotional-relational and sexual attraction to the opposite sex is seen by some people of faith as innate, God given and a beautiful thing. Yet when you flip that and examine the same facets of humanity (emotional, relational and sexual capacity ) of LGBT people it is something that must be suppressed and denied because God is supposedly against it and will even (possibly) send them to hell for it. It’s sad and unfortunate and we must do better .

The Church has to do better.

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